Sleepless night haunted me with the memories from the past.... from as young as 4 years old. wake up every night during dawn and hearing the same sound in the middle of the night. the sound from the truck when approaching red light..and my brain is so pure, no worried and it is just between me and the universe.
A very different kind of memories, when i am around 10 years old, wake up every night around 3:00pm, the very familiar sound from the clock, tong tong tong...... telling me it is 3 o'clock in the morning and my mind is very confusing discovering the world, trying to figure out, what am i in my past life, god and spirit and why i keep experienced the same feeling every night, and the same dreams over and over again.
When grow older, keep searching for the answers and to an extend of finding self comfort answers that beyond my understanding. All the unanswered questioned buried deep in my self and reading books spare my night time, with comfort feeling of acquiring knowledge while watching my sibling in sweet dream.
Alan Tham and Jackie fill most of my sleepless nights, love song love song and love song again repeating for at least 6 times every night. Both of them is my idol filling up my sleepless night till i find my first boy friend and now is sleeping loudly besides me.
The longest sleepless lonely nights i had experience and i could imagine if without these songs. The same radio i still keep till now days but the different is its no longer play cassette anymore. Really miss those nights to bring me back my memories. uncertainty, pain, bitter and sweet for more than 10 years. The same song, same player at many different places, start from my hometown Bentung, to my rented house at Melawati, Casstlefield, Desa Setapak, Desa View and Wangsa Maju. memories of almost half of my life.
Now occasionally have sleepless night and most of the time watching online drama and the most recent one is Winter Sonata...
Watching it for the second time but first time in Korean language. Really addicted and have the urge to learn speaking Korean. Slow pace, no vulgar words, pure minds that remind me back to my teenager time.
A very special sleepless night today that bring me back the memories of all my sleepless and lonely nights in the past but the different is i have my son sleeping besides me and make feel good and warm. i am wishing that he have sweet dream every nights.
The same nightmare i have since younger time, disappeared in my dreams long time ago. i am like a little caterpillar that transformed to a butterfly. occasionally i still curios why i have such dreams and i dream to find a decoder to give me all the answers
