Sleepless night haunted me with the memories from the past.... from as young as 4 years old. wake up every night during dawn and hearing the same sound in the middle of the night. the sound from the truck when approaching red light..and my brain is so pure, no worried and it is just between me and the universe.
A very different kind of memories, when i am around 10 years old, wake up every night around 3:00pm, the very familiar sound from the clock, tong tong tong...... telling me it is 3 o'clock in the morning and my mind is very confusing discovering the world, trying to figure out, what am i in my past life, god and spirit and why i keep experienced the same feeling every night, and the same dreams over and over again.
When grow older, keep searching for the answers and to an extend of finding self comfort answers that beyond my understanding. All the unanswered questioned buried deep in my self and reading books spare my night time, with comfort feeling of acquiring knowledge while watching my sibling in sweet dream.
Alan Tham and Jackie fill most of my sleepless nights, love song love song and love song again repeating for at least 6 times every night. Both of them is my idol filling up my sleepless night till i find my first boy friend and now is sleeping loudly besides me.
The longest sleepless lonely nights i had experience and i could imagine if without these songs. The same radio i still keep till now days but the different is its no longer play cassette anymore. Really miss those nights to bring me back my memories. uncertainty, pain, bitter and sweet for more than 10 years. The same song, same player at many different places, start from my hometown Bentung, to my rented house at Melawati, Casstlefield, Desa Setapak, Desa View and Wangsa Maju. memories of almost half of my life.
Now occasionally have sleepless night and most of the time watching online drama and the most recent one is Winter Sonata...
Watching it for the second time but first time in Korean language. Really addicted and have the urge to learn speaking Korean. Slow pace, no vulgar words, pure minds that remind me back to my teenager time.
A very special sleepless night today that bring me back the memories of all my sleepless and lonely nights in the past but the different is i have my son sleeping besides me and make feel good and warm. i am wishing that he have sweet dream every nights.
The same nightmare i have since younger time, disappeared in my dreams long time ago. i am like a little caterpillar that transformed to a butterfly. occasionally i still curios why i have such dreams and i dream to find a decoder to give me all the answers
Monday, June 11, 2012
Monday, January 30, 2012
Hobby and New accomplishment in year 2012
in preparation for 2012 dragon years, i have accomplished one of my long due project, after attending 5 DAYS motivation class a week before CNY.... that with high commitment and exams and nightmare without sleep...and with the remaining time before CNY, i took a day to finish sewing the curtain that the material i bought ten years ago. such a huge relieved, using a very small electric sewing machine for 4 full length curtains...... i can't believe i done it... and don't ask me how i did that.... but i think part of it is because of the motivation course..
anyhow sewing is my hobby.... but the curtains were really miracle. everything just there without much planning and now it is hanging nicely in my living room.
i have done a lots of sewing this years, enjoying the process and make a new pair of pajamas for Mika's, 2 shorts for me and hubby as well for year of Dragon. i have a new cushion cover as well plus pillow for Mika's...... Very happy to get some compliments for my works...
for the next hobby, will try to get an oven and start baking with Mika.
later can go to piano class with Mika and learn painting..
anyhow sewing is my hobby.... but the curtains were really miracle. everything just there without much planning and now it is hanging nicely in my living room.
i have done a lots of sewing this years, enjoying the process and make a new pair of pajamas for Mika's, 2 shorts for me and hubby as well for year of Dragon. i have a new cushion cover as well plus pillow for Mika's...... Very happy to get some compliments for my works...
for the next hobby, will try to get an oven and start baking with Mika.
later can go to piano class with Mika and learn painting..
Year of dragon
Today is the 8th day of CNY, almost 11pm and just started with fireworks, one follow by another one and expecting will last till 12:30am. Its really loud and reminding me of some unfortunate country which is in war. for a moment, i was thinking what if those sound is bomb. Thank god, this is the sound of celebration... and no matter how loud was the fireworks, and how disturbing to Mika before he go to sleep.... My feeling is so good and grateful that at this moment we can have this kind of celebration now days.
It was the last two cycle during year 1988, everywhere lights up firecracker from every house at my hometown...non-stop and for the first time i have experience such a huge celebration. I was just left school and it was year of dragon. The most powerful animal in chinese zodiac.
i have the first time, feeling of freedom and totally new kind of CNY celebration... hang out with friend playing mahjong till dawn and have early dim sum breakfast before go to bed. Visiting all schoolmates house by house getting ang pau and have fun..
Seems like dragon years are the most memorable years.... the other cycle was in year 2000 where me and my husband have the first new year celebration at KLCC.
seems like just yesterday, 24 years past and things has change. I am not meeting any of my schoolmates. i am giving ang pau instead of receiving ang pau and of course growing old and put on weight. Everything seems so fast in year 2012... superfast and rush but one thing still the same, celebration. Hope CNY culture will continue and past down to next generation.
It was the last two cycle during year 1988, everywhere lights up firecracker from every house at my hometown...non-stop and for the first time i have experience such a huge celebration. I was just left school and it was year of dragon. The most powerful animal in chinese zodiac.
i have the first time, feeling of freedom and totally new kind of CNY celebration... hang out with friend playing mahjong till dawn and have early dim sum breakfast before go to bed. Visiting all schoolmates house by house getting ang pau and have fun..
Seems like dragon years are the most memorable years.... the other cycle was in year 2000 where me and my husband have the first new year celebration at KLCC.
seems like just yesterday, 24 years past and things has change. I am not meeting any of my schoolmates. i am giving ang pau instead of receiving ang pau and of course growing old and put on weight. Everything seems so fast in year 2012... superfast and rush but one thing still the same, celebration. Hope CNY culture will continue and past down to next generation.
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